Just Me, My Date, and His Wild Trip

Mar 3, 2020

I joined dating apps because my life felt boring. I woke up, went to work, made dinner, watched TV, and did it all over again the next day. 

I wrote “Let’s party” and nothing more in my dating app bio because 1) I’m lazy and didn’t want to have to be creative, 2) I’m self-conscious and don’t like thinking about how to describe myself, and 3) I feel like my life is boring and I want to have more fun. 

I forgot that “Let’s party” means something different to people who actually party.

Caleb messaged “Let’s party” after we matched and I thought it was funny and kind of cool that he’d simply sent my own bio back to me. I wrote back “Let’s party” again, then he asked, “Whaddya wanna do?” 

This exchange alone already made my life about ten times more exciting than it had been in the months prior. 

I googled and found a local band’s concert that sounded fun. I felt really cool saying he should meet me Friday night at 9 PM and giving him an address.

We didn’t know anything about each other! Anything could happen!

Well, what happened was unexpected, but it wasn’t exactly fun. At first I thought Caleb was shy. He was barely talking or making eye contact. He kept looking behind me or next to me or just staring into space. 

I understand that some people have social anxiety, so I decided to roll with it. We went inside and I ordered a beer. When I asked if he wanted one, he said he had already started partying earlier.

I asked if he’d been drinking and he said “Nope, mushrooms.” 

The opening band started playing and I tried to get lost in the music, but I kept thinking about the fact that Caleb was tripping and I was only half a beer deep. I’d eaten mushrooms once, in college, but I could tell by looking at Caleb that I must’ve eaten less than he had that night. 

His eyes followed the red, green, and blue lights that danced around the room. Or, they tried to. He swayed and smiled and looked surprised by how quickly the lights moved. A few times, I grabbed his arm because I thought he might fall over. 

Caleb stared at the air more than the stage. I asked, “Are you hallucinating?” and he replied, “Are you seeing?” 

“Seeing what?” I asked, but he just laughed.

He became nervous as the stage lights moved more quickly, whipping his head around to follow them. He was terrified, I could feel his heart racing as I held his arm to steady him. I felt bad for him, but I also didn’t sign up for this. He whispered, “I need water.” I went to the bar to get some, and when I came back, he was sitting on the floor. 

After buying two more bottles of water, I got Caleb outside where he’d be less stimulated. We sat on the sidewalk, and I responded as if we were having a normal conversation for the next two hours, even though we weren’t. He kept emitting half thoughts, like, “Why do I always?” and “You know when I said that.”  Two hours.Mushrooms can last for, I don’t know, I think 12 or 14 hours! 

I sat with him until he seemed more lucid and relaxed. As I headed home that night, I realized maybe my boring life is better than I originally thought.

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