Doordash Exploded My Tinder White Lie

Mar 4, 2020

I signed up for a dating app because I was lonely. I said yes to the first guy who asked me out, even though I didn’t sense a “spark.” My friends and family have been telling me I’m too picky and reject men before I get to know them, so I was trying to be more open.

Steve seemed fine. He’s an accountant. He isn’t ugly, and he didn’t message anything rude. I figured he was good enough to meet in person. Our offices are down the street from each other, so we made plans to meet up after work and then find a place to get dinner.

I immediately knew I didn’t like Steve. Again, nothing wrong with him, but there was no attraction there. I knew I’d forced myself to go on the date and had no genuine interest. Of course, you can’t tell someone that two minutes after meeting them, so I figured I’d try to enjoy dinner and then that would be the last time we saw each other.

Steve suggested pizza. I wasn’t in the mood for pizza, or pasta or anything starchy like breaded foods or burgers and sandwiches. I know I shouldn’t have, but I lied and told him I have a severe wheat allergy. I suggested sushi instead.

The sushi was good. I think Steve was nervous and unsure of what to talk about because he kept mentioning my wheat allergy. I said it developed when I was in kindergarten and my face swelled up and the kids made fun of me. I also said I had to go to the ER once when a coworker brought “gluten-free” cookies to work that weren’t actually gluten-free. I’m not usually a liar, but these stories felt harmless. 

Afterward, I texted Steve telling him I thought we were better off as friends. He replied politely, then we didn’t talk again.

Fast forward two weeks. It’s Friday night, I’m exhausted after a long workweek. I get home, put pajamas on, and order pizza. Twenty minutes later the door buzzes. I open it.

It’s Steve.

I say, “I thought you were an accountant?” He says he delivers food as a side hustle to pay off student loans. He glances around my apartment, where there is no one, and asks, “Is this pizza for you?” 

“Oh don’t worry, I won’t eat it all in one sitting, haha,” I say. 

“It has wheat,” Steve says. 

I’d completely forgotten about my lie. I hand him a tip and say nothing. “Were all those stories a lie?” he asks.

I felt more embarrassed than I’ve felt in many years. “I don’t get it,” he said. “So you haven’t gone to the ER because of wheat? Or your face didn’t swell up like a basketball?”

I simply said, “Well, have a good night!” As I shut the door, I heard him say, “That’s really messed up. Why would someone even lie about that?”

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