Tinder Birthday Bash
I met this girl on Tinder and everything was alright at first. We chatted, swapped numbers, the usual stuff, but it never worked out to have an actual date. We were both busy, all of that sort of thing.
Then one day she texts me that she is having a house party, at her place. Just her and her roommate and their friends. I should come, she says, and I agree. I’d rather have met her one on one, but a house party sounded fun.
I got a bottle of gin she liked, and headed over. Her place was pretty cool, a modern, new construction. I buzzed in and made my way through the office, and out into the courtyard. It was an apartment complex, but a luxury spread. There was a pool and hottub with grills and lounge chairs—it was like a resort.
But I was immediately floored when she opened the door. It was just … dudes. She and her roommate were the only women. I was confused, but whatever. Then I started to notice all the guys had the same awkward look on their face. I said my hellos, how cool it was to finally meet her, and all of that. The whole time I feel these other guys, like smirking at me. Also, these guys, they all sorta looked alike. Tall, burly type guys, beards, same style. I knew the style well, because it was like I was looking into a mirror.
She introduces me to a few of her friends, but then the buzzer rings. There is a delivery for her so she excuses herself to pick it up. So I started talking to her friends.
“How’d you guys meet?”
“We matched on Tinder. Never met in person. She invited me to this house party.”
What? No way. Then the next dude had the same story, and the next. It took just a few minutes before we all realized what was going on.
She comes back in with a cake. A big birthday cake with her face airbrushed into the icing. She set it down and her roommate cheered, but we were all confused.
What? It was her birthday? What was going on?
Then some guy said what we were thinking. “Yo, did you invite all of your Tinder matches to a surprise birthday party for yourself?”
Some of us started laughing, a few guys noped out and made for the courtyard, taking a few of her beers with them. I left my bottle of gin, wished her a happy birthday, and deleted her out of my phone as I walked to the parking garage.
A few of the other guys were standing around laughing about it. We kinda all looked like brothers. I ended the night getting beers with my Tinder competition. Never saw those guys again, but I’m sure we’ll all be telling this Tinder horror story forever.
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