How I Catfished Myself

Feb 29, 2020

I decided to try Tinder, and you know what, it was cool. At first. I met some guys that were all pretty fun, and a few that were forgettable. One guy, I’ll call Aaron, was decent looking, but was a bit boring when we started chatting. Not my type, I guess. We swapped numbers but nothing happened.

Months later, I met a dude at a party—a friend of a friend—who was also named Aaron. He was hot, he was smart, he loved my jokes. We spent the whole night making each other laugh and talking about all the weird stuff we have in common. I texted him that week and he was excited to see me. He worked near a great place I wanted to try anyway, so I picked him up after work.

The dude that got into my car was not Aaron. I had never seen this guy in my life but he acted like he knew me. What was going on? Was I losing my mind? He knew me well enough, but when I started asking questions about the party that he could not answer, I realized what had happened. 

I had merged my Aarons in my contacts and texted the wrong Aaron.

I catfished myself.

Trying to desperately avoid whatever terrible karma would be in store for me if I bailed, I just went on and had dinner with Tinder-Aaron. Dinner was awkward, to say the least, but Tinder-Aaron was a totally normal guy, just not the guy I was excited to see.

That was the last time I used Tinder. I miss you, party-Aaron, but I am too mortified to text you.

The Choice is Yours

You can waste your time looking for go-nowhere dates, or find a partner that takes your breath away. Take the quiz to find a partner that matches uniquely with you.

Bowling Ballerina

Bowling Ballerina

I went on a great date with a funny guy, but things went wrong when I tried to show off. This is, without a doubt, my most embarrassing Tinder story.

How I Narrowly Dodged a Workplace Affair

How I Narrowly Dodged a Workplace Affair

Sometimes, the worst thing about dating app culture is when it all goes so right and so wrong at the same time. Someone should make an app that cross-checks where you work. Here’s how I almost accidentally had an affair with my new employee.

The Date that Never Left

The Date that Never Left

We all want one fantastic date that never ends but … not like this. This is how a down-on-his-luck man lied to me and used me just to make ends meet.

Something’s Just, Off

Something’s Just, Off

Everything went wrong on this date, from a messed up Uber ride to an embarrassing picture. Disposable dating leads to awkward nights like this.

We Went … Earthing

We Went … Earthing

He said the electrons from the Earth would realign our souls. I just think he had dirty, gnarly feet. This is how I ended up on a date with a man with no shoes.

My Weird Date to a Mall

My Weird Date to a Mall

I didn’t know malls – like big, neon 1980s malls – were still around, but I went on a Tinder date with a guy to one. Too bad he was a loser. Here’s the story.

Guess I Didn’t Make the Cut

Guess I Didn’t Make the Cut

Football Sundays are sacred to me, so I thought things were going to work out when he took me on a date to a game. I just didn’t make the cut.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I got bed bugs from a date. Bed. Bugs. I can’t live this one down. Thanks, Tinder.